What in the world is a spiritual awakening? I had heard this term before and while it wasn’t a goal of mine, it always intrigued me. What was it? Would I have one? Did I even need one?
This is a definition from the urban dictionary:
“Spiritual awakening refers to a shift in consciousness, an apperception of reality which had been previously unrealized. The culmination of such realizations is in the recognition of oneness with all of existence.”
And yet till you go through one, or think you are going through one, you have no idea what that really means.
I’m still figuring it out myself.
Here's what I do know: Prior to my awakening, I was often experiencing sadness, fear, confusion, frustration, despair, and powerlessness. I was in victim mode, as in nothing that went sideways in my life was due to my actions, it was all out of my control. I overextended myself often. I’d say yes when I wanted to say no and eventually would emotionally, physically and mentally burnout. This would make me resentful, bitter, scared and exhausted.
I was smoking a pack a day and drinking every single night trying to numb my thoughts and feelings with only temporary relief, bad breath and a hangover.
While I sound miserable here in this description, trust me, my life was good. I wanted for nothing, my basic needs were always met, and I had family and friends that loved and supported me.
I was enjoying my life as best as I knew at the time, not realizing I had access to a mindset that was sooooo much more expansive.
Not realizing that "good" was the enemy of "great".
Then one day, while I was meditating for four hours atop a mountain in India under a clear blue sky after fasting for a week and reading the Bhagavad Gita, Bible and the Torah, a light from the heavens came down and lit up my root chakra, resulting in a spontaneous spiritual awakening.
Ha! No, that wasn't my experience at all.
Actually, I read a political cartoon on Facebook about how our minds process information that sent me running down a rabbit hole in books, lectures, podcasts, YouTube videos, anything I could get my hands on. That unexpectedly led to a deep connection with the mind and spirituality that I never knew existed, which eventually led me back to myself.
My real self.
Not the people pleasing, anxiety ridden and occasional doormat self.
The fun loving, fire within, passionate and expressive self!
The truth of my spiritual awakening is not so sexy, but most are not. In fact they can be messy, painful, heartbreaking and life altering to a point of no return. You can lose yourself, people you love, jobs that used to make you happy and hobbies that used to bring you joy before you reach a balance point. The balance point is where the things you want fill in again for you, consciously this time instead of by default.
You also can’t un-ring a bell. Once you realize that you are a part of something so much bigger, more expansive, and more magical that you could ever imagine, there’s no going back.
You take the red pill, you unplug from the matrix, you become reborn and yet you are still yourself but now a tender child looking at the world with completely new eyes.
And life begins again :)
Let me know in the comments below if you have you experienced a spiritual awakening or if you want to hear the long version of mine.
I hope this post finds you well!